It seems my posts about not posting are becoming the norm, but I've had a bit of a rough week. On Monday evening, my grandmother passed away. I do believe that she is in a better place now, no longer suffering, and that at the end of my own life I will see her again, but there's still a lingering sadness - knowing I'll miss her, sad that my child will not know her here on earth.
But looking back, there are plenty of memories to take joy from. Since this is a book blog, I have to mention my grandmother's love of reading. The only things more prevalent in her home than books, were delicious food and lots of love. Summers at her house were filled with novels, short stories, comics, magazines, crossword puzzles and other simple forms of entertainment. As much as I am clinging to the advice and knowledge she passed on to me, some of my best memories of her are also sitting in silence, relaxing in the shade, and reading together.
Among other things, Grandma taught me how to knit! |
My grandma was also one of the best people at making me feel good about myself. I don't mean she gave me some cheesy positive self esteem lessons, but rather, she was so loving and so accepting that no matter what type of awkward, frustrated, mad about myself, or disappointed with my life phase I could go through she made me feel that I was wonderful, that I was enough - a "just as I am" kind of love that I still cherish.
It's been a rough week and I know there is more grieving ahead. It doesn't help that I'm five months pregnant and can cry at things as mundane as car commercials and greeting cards, but hopefully this explains yet another blog hiatus. Here's hoping April and May will be much more even keel.
Love you, Grandma. And I always will. |